Funny (potentially disturbing) Story
I used to have a toenail collection. In high school I would take my clippings and store them in a jar. The end goal of this endevour was to have a Guiness World record for Largest Toenail Collection. For whatever reason I lost the collection and never started it back up again, though I still kind of want to some day (who doesn’t want to be in the Guiness Book?)
For some reason my red-headed wife finds this potential future horrifically disgusting (I really can’t imagine why), and has made me promise not to secretly start up the collection without telling her.
So last night, we were talking and for some reason the topic came up. I said “Not to worry, I’ll find something you really want someday and let you have it in return for you letting me start the ol’ toenail collection up again”
My wife’s response was as follows:
You are not allowed to trade any of our future children for your toenail collection
Ah yes, never a dull moment when you live at The Ardrey
Yeah, Julie’s pretty disgusted with toenails too. I don’t know what the deal is. It’s got to the point where I don’t even want to clip my toenails anymore, just to avoid the situation altogether.
I offered a compromise to Dave – I told him he could have a hair collection instead.
I must say that he was as horrified at the idea of a hair collection as I was at the idea of a toe nail collection.
I suggested we should just drop both items then. We’ll see if that ever happens.