Author, Doctor, and Fellow Human

He stood in the front of the classroom, tears welling up in his eyes. He simply stood there, a quiet sob stuck in his throat, unable to answer the student’s question. It seemed like a straightforward query, and I was even taken aback as I felt that it had already been asked and answered, much like most of the interview simply repeated answers that were given in the author’s book, which was the assigned reading the day before.

“Guard your heart.”

These three words silenced the room, the largest class I have been a part of since starting here, and could only fit into the largest room that NTS has to offer. “Guard your heart” he repeated, and we all knew what he meant. But Kansas City District Superintendent of the Church of the Nazarene Jeren Rowell, an overseer of over 80 churches across two states, opened up and shared his heart with us.

“In one year of being district superintendent, I have twice had to walk into a church on a Sunday morning, and tell the church why their pastor would not be coming back. Twice I have watched as a pastor walks over to his office wall and takes down his ordination vows, pop the document out of the frame, and hand it to me, collapsing into my arms in tears as he does so.”

My reaction cannot be the pointing of fingers, or one of anger and condemnation of those who have failed, but only sorrow at how unfair and broken this world is, and that I am a part of it and vitally connected to all people – especially those who have failed. If we are honest to ourselves and to others, then we will not point fingers and decry the sinfulness of others, but join them in crying out to God and the community for forgiveness and reconciliation. And to listen – “Guard your heart.”