DMV Episode III
As of 11:15am on February 3rd, 2007 AD, I have made NINE trips to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Or, as they refer to it out here, the Department of Revenue. For historical purposes, I will forthwith call it ‘DMV.’ I first went to the DMV about 18 months ago to get my license and register my car (Green Monster I, ’96 Ford Contour). That took four different trips, each time being avasted (no ding, not really a word) by state goverment, technology, the fates or perhaps even the universe itself.
Then we moved out to Independence, upon which I made three attempts to change my license to carry my newfound address. Each time I was punched in the face. I eventually gave up and still have my old address on my license. This brings us to a grand total of seven trips to the DMV in less than a year.
Today I went to transfer the title of my new car (Green Monster II, or to some simply ‘Jr.’, ’99 Ford Escort) and register and get the whole car ordeal over and done with. After a relatively short wait, I was told I had all the documentation I needed except an Inspection. Firestone was next door, but they couldn’t do it until the afternoon. THe DMV closes at noon, so I turned them down and headed for the Ford Dealership. This is the third consecutive weekend I have gone there, so as soon as I walk in the guy looks at me and says “Donahue, right?” Well played! The inquiry is made and they say they can be done in 30 minutes – and sure enough they were. Ecstatic that I overcame this hurdle (and that the Ford people are so awesome) I headed back to the DMV, took a number, waited in line for 20 minutes (finished my reading for Doctrine of Holiness on Tuesday) and brought my stack of paperwork to the same person I had just talked to, who had no idea who I was or what I was doing there.
I retold my story, and she looked through my paperwork, finally telling me that I needed to have proof that I paid personal property tax on Green Monster I for 2006. Seeing as though I had no such proof, seeing as though I didn’t, it was looking as though I was not going to get my car registered today.
That makes nine trips in 18 months, the last five of which have been completely worthless. I would like to thank the Missouri State Government, technology, the fates and yes, perhaps even the universe itself for ceaselessly giving me the run-around.
Pet Peeve # 3: Going to the DMV.
One thing that did go right today was a haircut, but it is bittersweet because I hate getting a haircut. Mostly I hate the question that is always asked – “How would you like it cut?” I never know how to respond… If I am ordering a cheeseburger, I know if I say “medium well” they will accept this as appropriate and leave me alone. If I order eggs, I can say “Over easy” and that will suffice. Coffee: double cream double sugar. Do you want the warranty plan with this? No. How do you want your haircut? I just don’t know how to answer this. I say “short” and all it does it warrant more questions. No more questions! Just cut my hair.
Pet Peeve # 9: Getting a haircut.
Dude, call the DMV first and have them tell you what you need to bring.
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Having been told what I needed to bring at visit # 8, that list was revised and appended to upon visit #9.
Oh how the hands of fate have conspired against us. And by us I mean you. Although when I got my license in MA a few months ago I had to make 2 trips because you need like 2 forms of ID and another ID / bill to prove that you live in MA. I was a bit worried since I don’t actually pay for school….fortunately I do get billed for school so I printed that off and promptly headed back.
Which brings up another story of that one time I got billed for tuition twice in one semester. Defeats the purpose of giving me a scholarship if you’re gonna bill me twice for my education, huh?