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For those of you that know me well, know my love for coffee. I never went a day without it. Well at 9 weeks pregnant, I haven’t been able to stand the SMELL nevermind the taste of coffee. It’s sad really. I guess it makes it easier for me to stay away from caffeine. Seriously though, I could’ve gotten by with decaf… Why does pregnancy make me so strange? I’m sure Joe has some input about how strange I truly have become… I’m just so sad that something i loved so much now grosses me out…

I don’t have any pictures to post of this yet, but I will update this post as soon as I take some!  Last weekend a few of us gathered over to the Haney’s to do some pumpkin carving.  I had printed off a stencil of “The Cheat” from homestarrunner.com, and proceeded to carve my pumpkin in his likeness.  I think it came out pretty darn good, and The Cheat currently resides on our front steps.

Last weekend I also got together with co-workers for “LAN Party 2.0″.  We met at Bob’s as a last hurrah before his house is sold and occupied by new people who probably don’t want strangers and network equipment strewn about the house.  We actually set up the teams in two different rooms this time, but it was still close enough so that you could hear the anguished cries of the other team (and they could hear ours…).  I arrived later than I had hoped as I got lost and spent an hour driving all over Missouri (when I hit “Lone Jack” I knew I had gone too far) and left earlier than I had hoped to get to my first night of rehearsal with the Band for Godspell.

And rehearse for Godspell I did.  This is how I spent last week:  Work until 6, drive to First Church, play drums until 10, go home, wash, rinse, and repeat. After several consecutive days of not saying more than “Good Morning” to my wife, we went out for a cup of coffee together one afternoon.  Friday night was our opening night, and Julie, Crystal, and Brad all came last night.  Both times it has gone really well, and even though I have only put in a fraction of the time that the cast has, it has been worth the temporary hiatus from my normal schedule.  Doors are open again this coming week on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights!

Well, I was hoping that maybe if I got morning sickness I would start to feel a little more… pregnant. I hadn’t been sick at all. Until a few days ago that is. I pretty much feel nauseous ALL THE TIME. Definitely more of a 24/7 sickness. Haven’t actually puked yet :::knock on wood::: It’s really difficult to keep this secret. I’ve told a couple coworkers at work, which has proved helpful. I’m really hoping that I don’t get so sick that I have to leave work (which hasn’t happened yet).

The only other symptom I feel is being tired all the time. Other than those two things being pregnant feels GREAT

I can’t wait till Thanksgiving because then I will be able to tell the grandparents!

Last night I came home expecting a package containing some much anticipated Crib Sheets. I’ve started to slowly gather some nursery items in anticpation of our baby’s arrival. When I got home, I noticed a yellow sticker on our door from UPS. I read the note which stated that the package had been left at the rear door. I ran to the back door only to find that there was package in sight. Joe arrived home approximately ten minutes later and I showed him the note. I then proceeded to cry…hysterically… for half an hour . After I had finished crying I began to laugh uncontrollably about crying over a package of crib sheets. I made joe promise to call UPS tomorrow and he agreed. I was able to sleep soundly that night.

The following morning Joe left for work before me. When he opened the back door he called out my name. I looked down the stairs and Joe was holding a package containing my crib sheets. I laughed. Joe just said “Just think of all those wasted tears…”

He stood in the front of the classroom, tears welling up in his eyes. He simply stood there, a quiet sob stuck in his throat, unable to answer the student’s question. It seemed like a straightforward query, and I was even taken aback as I felt that it had already been asked and answered, much like most of the interview simply repeated answers that were given in the author’s book, which was the assigned reading the day before.

“Guard your heart.”

These three words silenced the room, the largest class I have been a part of since starting here, and could only fit into the largest room that NTS has to offer. “Guard your heart” he repeated, and we all knew what he meant. But Kansas City District Superintendent of the Church of the Nazarene Jeren Rowell, an overseer of over 80 churches across two states, opened up and shared his heart with us.

“In one year of being district superintendent, I have twice had to walk into a church on a Sunday morning, and tell the church why their pastor would not be coming back. Twice I have watched as a pastor walks over to his office wall and takes down his ordination vows, pop the document out of the frame, and hand it to me, collapsing into my arms in tears as he does so.”

My reaction cannot be the pointing of fingers, or one of anger and condemnation of those who have failed, but only sorrow at how unfair and broken this world is, and that I am a part of it and vitally connected to all people – especially those who have failed. If we are honest to ourselves and to others, then we will not point fingers and decry the sinfulness of others, but join them in crying out to God and the community for forgiveness and reconciliation. And to listen – “Guard your heart.”

Today was my first doctor’s appointment. I was so incredibly nervous to meet my doctor and to find out if I really am pregnant. And if I AM pregnant, I wanted to find out what is up with all this weird cramping that I have been experiencing. My biggest fear is that I’m going to lose the baby without really knowing it. Part of the problem is that I don’t have any pregnancy symptoms (other than the cramping). I would LOVE to just throw up every day if I knew that it meant everything was going okay with the baby. I still have a lot of fears. I know that the onlything I can do write now is be as healthy as I can and just wait it out. Waiting is the hardest part….

Dave, we think of you guys whenever I say “and.. 1 2 3 go!” We miss you too. And yes. Cartoony Joe is sweet. Once again, thanks to Adam Spriggs for your powers, which you clearly use for good. And for Awesome. Mostly for Awesome. Adam also created a banner with a fist flying across and hitting me in the face, but much to my entire department’s surprise, I chose against it.
I also want to share wisdom from a fortune cookie I recieved recently:

“Working hard will make you live a happy life.”

I think someone from NPH slipped that one in there.

Seriously. We go to bed so early we could be old people. I think we’re a few weeks away from starting to get the AARP magazine in the mail.

Anyways we say “Is it (blank) already?” all the time and it makes us think of you guys.

And cry great tears of anguish. And not just because we’re geezers either.

We’ve begun to call the baby “Joey”. Hey, if it’s good enough for kangaroos it’s good enough for the Donahues. My sister Crystal is concerned that we’ll call the baby Joey after she/he is born. This is not likely to be the case (although this may be easier if we have a girl ). Although there is still a chance.

Case in point: Our friends Erin and Stella named their baby FARGUS while it was still in the womb. The baby is now beautifully named Callie but unfortunately she does get called Fargus once in a while.

I am hoping that I will NOT find out the sex of the baby until delivery time, but I’m wondering if I’ll get a little anxious toward the end. The whole thing is kind of complicated I have a feeling it’s going to be a long nine months!

Two feelings which are strange when they go hand in hand. I’m feeling both right now. I’m having trouble with this knowledge that I have a tiny human being inside of me and have fears that it may not be true or that it may not last. I’m fearing that I will have a miscarriage soon… I guess I need to take a deep breath and wait till I see Dr. Carpino next week…